Little emerald bird
Wants to fly away
If I cup my hand
Could I make him stay …
To say goodbye, Patti writes a poem.
Departing from Robert and her life in New York to move to Detroit with her husband, Fred “Sonic” Smith, she composes a work for Robert’s portfolio and he assumes a place as “the blue star in the constellation of my personal cosmology.” The two don’t reconnect until several years later, when Fred Smith suggests Robert photograph Patti for the cover of their album, Dream of Life. Then, Patti’s personal cosmology is shaken by news of Robert’s AIDS diagnosis. Their reunion and the work they create – their artistic and personal connection still strong – becomes a fitting and fulfilling final act.
Dream of Life becomes more than just an album title, but a phrase that encapsulates everything about Patti and Robert’s final months together. Pregnant, Patti’s creative process is both biological and artistic, while Robert must fight the biological destruction imposing a certain end to his powers to exist as both an artist and a man. Both are acutely aware of this: “He was carrying death within him and I was carrying life,” Patti writes. Once again they strive to stay together as circumstances attempt to tear them apart.
Their original connection remains despite the years of separation. In the midst of a beautiful apartment surrounded by expensive furnishings, Robert delights in showing Patti the pieces of fabric, paper, string, and other small treasures he has collected. In response, she tells Robert “he had always been with me, part of who I am, just as he is at the moment.”
Despite her happiness at welcoming Robert’s physical presence back into her life, Patti is acutely aware of that physicality slipping away. Robert experiences the life and love of Patti’s visibly expanding family in the wake of the loss of his lover Sam Wagstaff and his own rapidly declining health. Facing the pain of death, he asks: “Patti, did art get us?” Patti, agonized, refuses to answer in the moment, but in hindsight, rightfully rejects the idea. It is through art that Patti and Robert’s relationship remains alive. Together they created – and inspired each other to create – poems, drawings, songs, photographs, a true legacy. When Robert regrets not having children with Patti, she correctly asserts “our work was our children.”
When Robert’s artistic strength finally is stolen by disease, Patti can no longer take comfort in the power of Robert-as-artist and instead must face his ever-apparent mortality: “I had nothing left to give him but love,” she realizes, lying in the dying artist’s arms. Their last conversation takes place in a hospital, where they pledge their love to each other before Robert is wheeled away for tests. Two months later, she attends his memorial service.
To say goodbye, Patti writes a poem.
… Little emerald soul
Little emerald eye
Little emerald bird
We must say good-bye